Make A Million Hearts Smile:)

The Smile:)..An Excerption!!

2010-04-11T19:32:00.008+05:30

Happy Weekend all..It's another day filled with love..A Beautiful-Warm Sunday..
My day would be incomplete without my Family,Mommy's food,oru Kutty Nap:) and a Good-Book.
I was reading "Chicken Soup for the Soul" and happened to read something that touched me and i jus' wanna post that immediately....So here it is..:)

The Smile
Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other—it doesn't matter who it is—and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other.
Mother Teresa
Many Americans are familiar with The Little Prince, a wonderful book by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. This is a whimsical and fabulous book and works as a children's story as well as a thought-provoking adult fable. Far fewer are aware of Saint-Exupery's other writings, novels and short stories.
Saint-Exupery was a fighter pilot who fought against the Nazis and was killed in action. Before World War II, he fought in the Spanish Civil War against the fascists. He wrote a fascinating story based on that experience entitled The Smile (Le Sourire). It is this story which I'd like to share with you now. It isn't clear whether or not he meant this to be autobiographical or fiction. I choose to believe it is the former.
He said that he was captured by the enemy and thrown into a jail cell. He was sure that from the contemptuous looks and rough treatment he received from his jailers he would be executed the next day. From here, I'll tell the story as I remember it in my own words.
"I was sure that I was to be killed. I became terribly nervous and distraught. I fumbled in my pockets to see if there were any cigarettes which had escaped their search. I found one and because of my shaking hands, I could barely get it to my lips. But I had no matches, they had taken those.
"I looked through the bars at my jailer. He did not make eye contact with me. After all, one does not make eye contact with a thing, a corpse. I called out to him 'Have you got a light, por favor?' He looked at me, shrugged and came over to light my cigarette.
"As he came close and lit the match, his eyes inadvertently locked with mine. At that moment, I smiled. I don't know why I did that. Perhaps it was nervousness, perhaps it was because, when you get very close, one to another, it is very hard not to smile. In any case, I smiled. In that instant, it was as though a spark jumped across the gap between our two hearts, our two human souls. I know he didn't want to, but my smile leaped through the bars and generated a smile on his lips, too. He lit my
cigarette but stayed near, looking at me directly in the eyes and continuing to smile.
"I kept smiling at him, now aware of him as a person and not just a jailer. And his looking at me seemed to have a new dimension, too. 'Do you have kids?' he asked.
"'Yes, here, here.' I took out my wallet and nervously fumbled for the pictures of my family. He, too, took out the pictures of his ninos and began to talk about his plans and hopes for them. My eyes filled with tears. I said that I feared that I'd never see my family again, never have the chance to see them grow up. Tears came to his eyes, too.
"Suddenly, without another word, he unlocked my cell and silently led me out. Out of the jail, quietly and by back routes, out of the town. There, at the edge of town, he released me. And without another word, he turned back toward the town.
"My life was saved by a smile."
Yes, the smile—the unaffected, unplanned, natural connection between people. I tell this story in my work because I'd like people to consider that underneath all the layers we construct to protect ourselves, our dignity, our titles, our degrees, our status and our need to be seen in certain ways—underneath all that, remains the authentic, essential self. I'm not afraid to call it the soul. I really believe that if that part of you and that part of me could recognize each other, we wouldn't be enemies. We couldn't have hate or envy or fear. I sadly conclude that all those other layers, which we so carefully construct through our lives, distance and insulate us from truly contacting others. Saint-Exupery's story speaks of that magic moment when two souls recognize each other.
I've had just a few moments like that. Falling in love is one example. And looking at a baby. Why do we smile when we see a baby? Perhaps it's because we see someone without all the defensive layers, someone whose smile for us we know to be fully genuine and without guile. And that baby-soul inside us smiles wistfully in recognition.
-Hanoch McCarty,
Chicken Soup for the Soul:)

Peace as Kids around:)

2010-04-02T23:25:00.005+05:30

One of my favorite Quote from the Schooling is,"Of all created things the most Divine and the Loveliest are the Children"

I'm not sure..how far this particular episode 'll interest you all...I may sometimes sound too excited,though i just wanna tell this to you,because it really made a difference and got smiles in to my Heart...so shall i shoot??

Well,our home is totally filled with Children,Children and Children!!My neighbour's kids are totally adorable and lovable...i keep learning some nice stuffs from them...we sometimes fail to see what's right in front of us and keep searching for it somewhere else!!

On this particular day,i was in the balcony looking at them playing shuttlecock having their own game rules,they call me their "Umpire"...if they have a lil' tiff regarding game rules ,they would ask me to solve it!!sounds funny right!!but i enjoy doin' that...ok besides that...

The other day while Sharan and Ithi were playing badminton and their sisters were happily enjoying doing some stuffs with mud,Sharan happened to smash the cock on the mud where the girls were playing-in and this made one among the sister got lil' angry and showed some cute childish tantrums on his brother 'Sharan',throwing the cock back to him...The other cutey was still playing with the muddy sand failing to even give a look on what's happening around!!!

I got something clicked-in...Even life is all about this 'Right'!!Choosing the way to react!!

It could be taken in any way that you wish,
To express yourself helps in making you happy and expressive and sometimes ...
To accept life and keeping yourself busy in your own dreams and centric is a nice fact!!
its all about just balancing...so easy na!!

To have your own path to walk without impersonating anyone!!
"Everything has its own beauty,but not all has the beauty of admiring it":)No single person can ever go completely easy with someone's ideal...right!!Thus,take your own path ...where your heart leads you to!!A road less travelled,at the same time without hurting your beloveds around...Hey!!there are no free lunches ...right!!

Anything can be achieved from Kindness and Love!!Even the hardest time of your life could be taken with ease if you are surrounded by true love and care and that's what keeps us going!!

My Dad kept his humour right up till the end ...i mean in his last days at the hospital teasing the nurses around:)...i think it was solely because of his sweet heart...My Mom around him!!Not all the human would get the privilege of saying Good-bye to the world with a happy note!!Though he misses us all and we miss him soooooo much too...the way nobody could imagine!!Somewhere deep in the silence of my heart strongly tells me that he was happy and is still happy to guide us and watch us grow..He is looking at me even right now!!

We Love you Appa...:)You are still here!!

Lovey-Dovey:)

2010-03-27T02:43:00.002+05:30

Rinku Gupta26 Sep 2008 02:39:00 PM ISTBack to square one Since the couple hasn’t really revealed much about themselves to the media, this seems a good opportunity to ask them about their courtship days. How did Jyothika win over the quiet Suriya? The actor laughs, ‘‘True, she would mostly talk and I would say ummmm or yes from time to time.’’ But they admit that they fell in love slowly, being friends first. ‘‘He was my first co star in Poovellam Kettupaar. I found I could rely upon him as a friend. He was very straightforward, genuine and a man of few words,’’ recalls Jyothika. Suriya reveals that her sincerity, hardworking nature and attachment to her family in Mumbai were what first attracted him to her. ‘‘I liked that she always respected her colleagues. Till today I have never seen her shouting, even at the people who work for her.’’ Jo relives the signs of love, when she would repeatedly watch the trailors of Nanda on TV. ‘‘I realised that I wanted to keep seeing him and it was more than friendship,’’ she smiles. Suriya adds his bit, ‘‘We actually fell in love when we were not doing films together! I used to keep messaging her and wanted to keep in touch.’’ Getting married meant a lot to both of them. ‘‘Starting a family soon and staying in a joint family was a priority,’’ says Jyothika.

Remembering Venice

Suriya is a romantic and springs wonderful surprises and parties, according to his wife. ‘‘On our honeymoon in Venice, I saw a beautiful opal ring in a store and I admired it since it is also my birthstone. Before I knew it, Suriya had ordered the most gorgeous replica of it in Chennai and presented it to me. It was very touching.’

Be it their on screen chemistry, secret romance or fairytale wedding, Suriya and Jyothika have been in the news for a long time. Yet they have chosen to be discreet about their personal life, leaving fans hungry for more. On September 11 this year, Tamil cinema’s favourite couple celebrated their second wedding anniversary, this time in the company of their one-year-old daughter, Diya. When we meet for our interview, I notice how the chemistry between the two is still sizzling hot. Marriage and motherhood seems to have lent Jyothika a brighter glow, perhaps explaining why Suriya can’t seem to take his eyes off her right through our meeting! In an exclusive chat with Indulge, the couple gets talking on family, love, life, marriage and more. Picture perfect ‘‘I still feel like the happiest man in the world and the most lucky person even two years after our wedding,’’ begins Suriya Sivakumar, with a happy grin. ‘‘My marriage to Jo has been all that I expected and much more. Jo has been a wonderful wife and makes an even greater mom to Diya.’’ That’s a lot, coming from the normally reticent Suriya that we know. ‘‘It’s not been an easy two years for someone like her who has always been working, to sit at home. But she has managed it really well,’’ he continues.

Jyothika is all smiles and her happiness in the Sivakumar household, which comprises of Suriya’s parents and siblings, is evident. ‘‘I have heard people complaining about life post marriage. But for me, life couldn’t be better. I think that ours is the picture perfect marriage.’’ So what’s keeping the spark alive? ‘‘Apart from being with Suriya, it’s the family that I am married into that has made all the difference. I don’t think we would have been so happy if we had been away from them,’’ says Jyothika. Suriya agrees, ‘‘Jo has had to be without me for long periods when I am away outdoors. But she has fit in with the family and enjoys spending time with them when I am not around.’’ All this is a huge departure from Jyothika’s initial years in the city . ‘‘I lived alone in Chennai for ten years during my film career since my family was in Mumbai. So I really enjoy this bonding,’’ she says. ‘‘Suriya’s brother Karthi is a great friend and his sister Brinda is a treasure. Brinda and I both have small babies who don’t sleep till late, so we chat right up to midnight when she is visiting! It’s a happy feeling to come down to breakfast with the family and catch up at mealtimes. With so many artistes in the family (father-inlaw Sivakumar and brother-in-law Karthi), we have healthy filmi discussions.’’ Marriage, good therapy ‘‘I have become a better person and I like myself more after marriage,’’ shares Jyothika. ‘‘I have become more mature and responsible. Earlier I thought only about cinema but now I think in all directions and can see beyond that world. I can see things from the point of view of my child, my in-laws and my husband.’’ And the learning never stops. ‘‘From my mother-in-law, I have learnt how to keep a family together. She is extremely caring in the smallest of things. She makes sure that none of us leave the house without having breakfast. My in-laws have kept the household grounded to their roots.’’ Quelling rumours that the couple live separately, Jo affirms, ‘‘I stayed in our apartment for six months since I was medically advised not to climb stairs during my pregnancy . But now we are back with the family .’’

After the movies, what? Both Suriya and Jyothika are known for keeping a low profile but I wonder aloud if she ever misses being under the spotlight? ‘‘I love this phase of my life and I don’t miss the old days at all,’’ she replies emphatically. ‘‘Life is to be enjoyed in every stage. I never wanted to be just career-oriented and stuck in one phase of life.’’ Confirming that there are no plans of returning to the silver screen, she adds, ‘‘Not for the next two or three years and even after that, maybe not. I may have more kids and till they are in the eighth standard, I will need to be with them. And by then, I will be too old to act (laughs).’’ Her husband adds, ‘‘Offers keep coming in but until she finds something really mind-blowing, she won’t take the plunge.’’ A working relationship Given the admiring glances they throw each other from time to time, I can’t resist asking them about the secret to their successful marriage. ‘‘It largely depends on your man. It’s the assurance he gives you that he is with you in the smallest of things, that makes all the difference,’’ says Jyothika. ‘‘He is the ideal husband who has been with me even through my pregnancy , taking care of me for six months without shooting. Even in the delivery room, he was there holding my hand and talking to me continuously . I couldn’t ask for more.’’ Suriya has this to say , ‘‘Marriage is built on complete trust and love and surrendering yourself with no secrets. It’s about being the same person outside and inside the house. When you know each other completely you have the confidence to discuss everything without fears.’’ And on a lighter note, he adds, ‘‘I have just one policy . My ‘boss’ is always right.’’ Bringing up baby ‘‘She’s totally like Jo. A late sleeper and late riser,’’ quips Suriya. Jyothika shoots videos and photos of Diya to share with Suriya later. ‘‘I keep updating him on each facet of her growth, from her first step to everything else.’’

The doting dad was so excited with his princess that he even bought her a real Swift car and wanted to paint it pink, with her birthday as the registration number. ‘‘But I convinced him that he was getting too excited and it was better to keep things simple,’’ laughs Jo. Getting out in Chennai ‘‘We have a Movenpick addiction and we love Café Coffee Day. We usually sit in the car and order,’’ says Suriya. ‘‘I don’t go out that much in Chennai. But back in Mumbai I usually go jogging at Joggers Park or just enjoy chilling out somewhere,’’ says his pretty wife.

Source: Indian Express

A Know-It-All Expert!!!

2010-03-27T01:30:00.005+05:30

On that sunny evening...A lil' boy who works in the tea shop nearby home was sweating sooo much....and he came running towards the tap water at the ground floor to quench his thirst...When he was about to drink water ...A voice called
"Thambi"(Lil' Bro)
"Come up"....said the guy to whom the voice belonged,turning towards his Sister and told her to bring a mug of cold drinking water..when she got the big mug he said"Don't drink the tap water Thambi...its not good for your health"to the lil' boy.The voice was from
My Bro...My AmulBaby...My Favourite Man!!

Hey there!!!To define him..i kept thinking for a long time....hmmm...sneak peaked in to some quotes...naah...they can never match up to him!!!!that's what he is!!!

The Most Perfect Guy with Genuine Smiles and a lot of Self-less Nature...like a pooh-bear,he could only make u happy....who resembles Appa a loooot ...treats me like his kid giving me more best of everything and to have someone like him close to me makes each day better and better !!

Anna...i call him S(okka).Thanga Anna(Purest form of Gold)...Man O Man...he is someone like the protagonist of those great writers...The most genuinest Gem of a Gem...i mean it...its hard for a guy to be in his shoes..He's the best!! someone whose life you wanna live-in...but i bet u!!you cannot..!!

He knows to balance things well,To confront and to give me a friendly pat...Anna is always by my side with whose shoulders i can comfortably lean on...

A Man of few words who knows everything but loves to keep things to himself.There is nothin' more fascinating than doin' something nice for someone who'll never find it out...My Anna is of that sorts...who has done sooooo much good n beard some slumps for me & my naughty lil' bro...but Neva let those hardest truths out...especially to us..

we both vibe well a looot...When i think of something ...he ll make it happen for me ...i've a looot of instances...one of 'em..hmmmn "The Alchemist"...i happened to read the review of it and thought of owning one for me!!!but i never...i mean never ever disclosed to anybody at home...not even one!!Months passed by and that night anna came with the bookstore cover...and to my surprise ,it was obviously "The Alchemist"...i knew it was for me and I've more creamy moments treasured!!!

I know what you're thinking right now!!"Hey..You're lucky"..right!!Well...Thank you!!

Look how beautiful the real world is...!!!it understands love without needing sooo much words...is this called the universal language or the life beyond words??yess it is...True love makes the transparency of soul...well....i can't wait to see the "Girl" of his life...The most luckiest girl of my family...My Anni:)

He's a realistic optimist..A person who can acknowledge that everything isn't always great,but that somehow we'll all make it through..i can never stop thinking the way he looks after my mother..all the time he just wanna see her smile and
what more i can say!!he is the "Best Son"

He's truly a sea of knowledge ...you can ask about anything to Anna and he'll give u the best info of it...from cars to politics..the way he admire a singer's notes...you'll get inspired easily guys....

when i'm sort of bugged up...I'd just keep looking at him to refresh me...oh God it really works u know!!...Not so many knows that he's naughty too ....very naughty and also the leader of "Mokkah Club"....but even that he keeps to himself!!!He'll switch off the t.v when I watch my fav' song giving that naughty wink..would tell me to do all lil' helps and say "you're the World's laziest girl sis"...hahahaha..

i feel a lot of Appa's love and concern in you Anna!!You've shaped me a complete person chweeeet bro !!Thanks a Million for making every single day special...

You are my Anna and I'm proud to be your sis..Dad is with us in Amma's smile and Happiness and of course in that lil' brat Achu Thambi's crazy quips!!
Love you both bros...

Peace as THE DELIGHT OF DUALITY

2010-02-16T02:12:00.017+05:30

The Real world is filled with love..
but, at times the lil' devil inside me peeps out!!

I mean those Negative thoughts which haunts me...which makes me incomplete...
Though it does so ....So be it!!!Yess!!!
U know with due respect for being thankful to My Family and Friends...ofcourse to u My Guardian Angel!!!i can pet and turn those lil' devils into an Appeasing Angel:)Life is a Fairy-Tale..isn't!!!

How???
With Patience and Perseverance...With Silence and Love !!!
Every action has two reactions,Everything around us has dual impacts!!
Love or Hate...To be or Not to be...Heads or Tails...
Undeniable that the reactions towards it can be chosen only by me!!!i think when your heart is filled with thankfulness and gratitude towards your fellow-beings...it can never let even a single luxurious negative thought...when a lil' of it enters in u ...it ruins your complete being...!

When my heart is filled with the memories of a particular person's good-deeds n love towards me ...i can never think about the pain that he/she has given me...As Paulo says "When you're looking for peace ,don't look for love"..Though i cannot forget ...i can forgive...My mom never holds a grudge...she ll let her bad memories faded away by her smile and love towards that person...She ll encourage that person's nice gestures..and i think that's what makes an inspiring person different from the other nice people!!I wanna choose love over hate like my Angel with whom I'm putting up !!!

Life sometimes seems a paradox,isn't!!!
When I'm extremely happy,i tend to cry cos of Happiness...but,
When I'm extremely sad,i smile at people's Stupidity...:)
As Mahatma Quoted....
"Whenever i see an erring man,i say to myself: "I've also erred",
When i see a lustful man,i say to myself:"So was i once" and in this way i feel kinship with everyone in the world and feel that i cannot be happy without the humblest of us being happy" ...Nice Naa!!

I once came across Priyanka Gandhi's interview with Burkha Dutt...when she was asked about her father's assassination and Nalini's(assassinator) jailing tenure...or somewhat!!Priyanka Gandhi was kind enough to say that Nalini would 've suffered more than herself and her family in a dignified manner...When a daughter could even forgive her loving Father's murderee...How can i ever think of other's lil' lil' mistakes...even I've also erred...right!!
Lets put our hearts together to spread love and kindness through out the world...!!

All that's so well!! Ends Well!!!Thank u all... All joy n Love to u :)

Peace as to Jubilate...to Fly...Break the Ice:)

2010-02-11T21:59:00.013+05:30

What Life asks you is very simple and easy...!!!!
To Love & to be Loved,To Believe & to be Believed,
To Help & to be Helped,To Admire & to be Admired...
Be Happy & make others Happy...Most importantly...to be the way u r ...with endless love n smile...whts more lovely than to get a tummy cramp after u had had a hard breaking laughs.

Life is a Blessing...& livin' it up makes it the most happening one!!Hmmm...most importantly

To Forgive Yourself & to Forgive Others;);)

phhhbrrr!!!! i excused myself for not keeping up my promises!!Remember guys i told u all that i 'd keep you posted every week ...but i was too lazy,not that i never had a 'Me Time'...Actually was gazing around home,was reading Kavingnar Kannadasan's "Arthamulla Hindhu Madham"...yeah and slept a looooooot too...played with mammu kutty...Still bit Lazy...Sorry all;)

Well, there are so many unfolded miracles that lies with in us... Yourself and myself!! Whats more fantastic or beautiful than to be a human...who can taste,admire,love,express,cry..

The lil' slice of hope amidst the chaotic nerves,confuse & then clear yourself,fight & then to compromise,to weep about other's anxiety,being happy for other's Feel-Goodness..you' ve so many wonders with in you ....Nothin' is greater than your smile,your love..
Even your shortcomings & failures..True experiences are the best teachers.Trust yourself,make your Mom proud.

Never overlook the power of simplicity...Believe in Your emotions & Conscience,cos that's the best critic.I've now learnt to accept things the way they are!!!After i faced the unexpected!! cos its jus' like that,it was meant to be that...well if u call it fate or blame on fate...I'd say i wanna master making my own destiny...the most powerful somethin' on the face of earth is the mind power of u...when you believe in something without a second thought ...it happens 4 sure.

Its not where you are & what you've ,but it matters who you are.. .spend some time with people u love and whose life u wanna live-in..i wanna thank each good hearts who has put in sooo much kindness and love for my life...let me start from my home..

The place where i explore more...
The place to which I'm thankful for...
The place which defines the most wonderful definitions of life...
The place which appreciates me to be myself...
The place which is waiting to exhibit some sweet surprise the very next minute...

it's a wonder u know!!Wherever i sit...i can't stop admiring the way its been filled with love ...I can never stop thanking u God!!!U R really Great Man!!

Peace...

2010-01-20T17:01:00.031+05:30

Happy New Year & All Joy to U!!Well....this column ll be like an interactive section,u can post your views,stories,an inspiring excerption...somethin' u wanna tell the world,personalities u adore or whatever!!this is an inspiration from a daily subsidiary guys...

i ll post an article every week of 2010,which ll prompt me to be a better person...this ll be like an Art of living course for myself of this year to re-born every second!!...hmmm...sort of gettin' younger the next year :) Yuppyyyy!!...n that calls for a treat!!!i ll ask anna for one;)

okies!!!now my first post of this year .....

Peace as Birthday Surprises!!!

Its a day of Hunky-Dory for us!!!Today is my sweet lil' bro's b'day...My family gave him a warm surprise!!A thought stroke my heart to live each day as you're born today,i mean to make your thoughts fresh,its wonderful to be born a human.."Its un-believable that an average person runs about 60,000 thoughts through his/her mind a day ,but its awful that 90% of those thoughts were the same as the ones you thought day before".Everyone in this world has some past regrets or un-fulfilled desires,to fret over it and dump yourself ll make u waste your holy-hour.

Most of us've d same raw materials from the moment we were born right!!but the way we mold it tells our success story and the rest would be a history!! so i tried making the most of now by doing Sudoku or a crossword..i don't mind even if i make a lot of mistakes in the grid...I'll keep trying and will some day soon solve a whole thingy, i try to learn a word-a day,pen down a nice thought when it touches the soul of my heart, i make it a point to make every single person smile each day,i try not to complain about my life as I'm constantly reminded about my best family,lovely friends,good health and the most sweetest Mom.I'm a lot more content with respect to the way my life has turned out..Well...as i say out ,it ll help me to keep practice what i promise,cos I'm telling the world out !!i promise myself and you all that i 'll live each day as I'm born today!!Happy B'day all:)

Hmmm...Toothsome..! its my box of chocolates;)

2009-12-10T11:39:00.016+05:30

The man and his shadow

By Paulo Coelho

Many years ago, there lived a man who was capable of loving and forgiving everyone he came across. Because of this, God sent an angel to talk to him.

‘God asked me to come and visit you and tell you that he wishes to reward you for your goodness,’ said the angel. ‘You may have any gift you wish for. Would you like the gift of healing?’

‘Certainly not,’ said the man. ‘I would prefer God to choose those who should be healed.’

‘And what about leading sinners back to the path of Truth?’

‘That’s a job for angels like you. I don’t want to be venerated by anyone or to serve as a permanent example.’

‘Look, I can’t go back to Heaven without having given you a miracle. If you don’t choose, I’ll have to choose one for you.’

The man thought for a moment and then said:

‘All right, I would like good to be done through me, but without anyone noticing, not even me, in case I should commit the sin of vanity.’

So the angel arranged for the man’s shadow to have the power of healing, but only when the sun was shining on the man’s face. In this way, wherever he went, the sick were healed, the earth grew fertile again, and sad people rediscovered happiness.

The man traveled the Earth for many years, oblivious of the miracles he was working because when he was facing the sun, his shadow was always behind him. In this way, he was able to live and die unaware of his own holiness.

The accommodating point

Published on February 11, 2010

Paulo Coelho

In one of my books (The Zahir), I try to understand why people are so afraid of changing. When I was right in the middle of writing the text, I came across an odd interview with a woman who had just written a book on – guess what? – love.

The journalist asks whether the only way a human being can become happy is to find their beloved. The woman says no:

“Love changes, and nobody understands that. The idea that love leads to happiness is a modern invention, dating from the late 17th century. From that time on, people have learned to believe that love should last for ever and that marriage is the best way to exercise love. In the past there was not so much optimism about the longevity of passion.

“Romeo and Juliet isn’t a happy story, it’s a tragedy. In the last few decades, expectation has grown a lot regarding marriage being the path towards personal accomplishment. Disappointment and dissatisfaction have also grown at the same time.”

According to the magical practices of the witchdoctors in the North of Mexico, there is always an event in our lives that is responsible for our having stopped making progress. A trauma, a particularly bitter defeat, disappointment in love, even a victory that we fail to quite understand, ends up making us act cowardly and incapable of moving ahead. The witchdoctor finds and gets rid of this “accommodating point”. To do so, he has to review our life and discover where this point lies.

When I was young, I was always fighting, always hitting the others, because I was the oldest in the gang. One day my cousin gave me a beating. That convinced me that I would never again manage to win a fight, and I began to avoid any physical confrontation, even though this meant that I was often taken for a coward, and let myself be humiliated in front of girlfriends and companions. Until one day, when I was 22, I ended up unwillingly getting into a fight in a nightclub in Rio de Janeiro. I got beaten up, but the “accommodating point” went away. Nowadays I no longer fight, not out of cowardice but rather because it’s a terrible way of expressing oneself.

For two years I tried to learn to play the guitar: I made a lot of progress in the beginning, until I reached the point where I could advance no further. Because I discovered that others learned faster than I did, I felt mediocre and decided that instead of feeling ashamed I was no longer interested in playing the guitar. The same happened with snooker, football, cycling: I learned enough to do everything fairly well, but then reached a point where I could go no further.

Why?

Because, according to the story that we were told, at a certain moment in our lives “we reach our limit”. There are no more changes to be made. We won’t grow any more. Both professionally and in love, we have reached the ideal point, and it’s best to leave things as they are. But the truth is that we can always go further. Love more, live more, risk more.

Immobility is never the best solution. Because everything around us changes (including love) and we must accompany that rhythm.

I have been married to the same person for 30 years, but methaphorically speaking, the same marriage contains several “new marriages” during our relationship. Our bodies and souls changed, and we are still together. If we wanted to keep on as we were in 1979, I don’t think we would have come so far.

The Quest

Published on April 11, 2010

Paulo Coelho.

Here I continue to transcribe extracts of the notes I took between 1982 and 1986 on my conversations with J., my friend and master in the Regnus Agnus Mundi (RAM) tradition. I remember that I was always asking for advice on any decision I had to take. J. usually remained silent for a while before speaking:

“People who are part of our daily life can give us important hints on decisions we need to take. But for this purpose all that is needed is a sharp eye and an attentive ear, because those who have ready solutions are usually suspect.

“It’s very dangerous to ask for advice. It’s very risky to lend advice, if we have a minimum sense of responsibility towards the other person. If they need help, it’s best to see how others resolve – or don’t resolve – their problems. Our angel often uses someone’s lips to tell us something, but this answer comes casually, usually at a moment when we do not let our worries overshadow the miracle of life. Let our angel speak the way he is used to, which is at the moment he deems necessary. Advice is just theory; living is always very different.”

“Don’t try to be coherent all the time; discover the joy of being a surprise to yourself. Being coherent is having always to wear a tie that matches your socks. It means being obliged to keep tomorrow the same opinions you have today. What about the world, which is always in movement? As long as it doesn’t harm anyone, change your opinion now and again, and contradict yourself without feeling ashamed – you have a right to that! It doesn’t matter what the others may think – because they are going to think that way no matter what.”

“But we are talking about faith.”

“Exactly! Go on doing what you do, but try to put love in every gesture: that will be enough to organize your quest. Usually we do not lend value to the things we do every day, but those are the things that change the world around us. We think that faith is a task for giants, but just read a few pages of the biography of any holy man and you will discover an absolutely ordinary person – except for the fact that they were determined to share the very best of themselves with others.

“Many emotions move the human heart when it decides to dedicate itself to the spiritual path. This may be a “noble” reason – like faith, love of our neighbor, or charity. Or it may be just a whim, the fear of loneliness, curiosity, or the fear of death. None of that matters. The true spiritual path is stronger than the reasons that led us to it and little by little it imposes itself with love, discipline and dignity. A moment arrives when we look backwards, remember the beginning of our journey, and laugh at ourselves. We have managed to grow, although we traveled the path for reasons that were very futile.”

“How do I know at least that I am traveling this path with love and dignity?”

“God uses loneliness to teach us about living together. Sometimes he uses anger so that we can understand the infinite value of peace. At other times he uses tedium, when he wants to show us the importance of adventure and leaving things behind.
“God uses silence to teach us about the responsibility of what we say. At times he uses fatigue so that we can understand the value of waking up. At other times he uses sickness to show us the importance of health.
“God uses fire to teach us about water. Sometimes he uses earth so that we can understand the value of air. And at times he uses death when he wants to show us the importance of life.”

“And what do we do about the feeling of guilt that we all share?”

“At one of the most tragic moments of the Crucifixion, one of the thieves noticed that the man dying beside him was the Son of God. ‘Lord, remember me when You are in Heaven’, said the thief. ‘In truth, today you shall be with me in Heaven’, answered Jesus, turning a bandit into the first saint of the Catholic Church: Saint Dimas.
“We don’t know why Dimas was condemned to death. The Bible tells us that he confessed his guilt and that he was crucified for the crimes he had committed. Let us suppose that he did something cruel, awful enough to end his life in that fashion; yet, even so, in his final minutes of life, he was redeemed – and glorified – by an act of faith.

“Remember this example when for some reason you feel unable to continue on your path.”

Dad s wid Us:)

2009-03-11T15:12:00.048+05:30

"Whom the God loves die young"...but i believe there is no death, only a change of worlds.

Appa...Where've you been??...I've been looking out for you in every corners,to touch those moles on your cheeks & say "Inga oru macham...inga oru macham" , to see you smile, picking on others and composing your own mock songs,to play on your pot belly,to hear u admire mom,to massage (walk over) your legs when they are tired,to walk through holding your hairy hands,to play cricket,to joyfully sit on your lap,but still i couldn't ..My eyes are weary....where are you Appa..???

Its been 22 years of my blessed life,and 12 years without you...haven't met a single head like you Appa..never'll i...nobody is like you to nobody Appa. ..

Yess!!!Life is really beautiful & truly Blessed Appa...but your presence would've enhanced its liveliness more to every facet of it Appa.

Living without you...the most Understanding,Generous,Energetic and Compassionated soul...hmmmn the get-togethers are incomplete and i miss you all the time Appa..How did you lead a life like that Appa...?Everybody loooves you soo much..!!We always think of you Appa..Every time...its you ,you and only YOU:)

I must really thank God for gifting Humans with the fragrance of Memory...I still enjoy those moments i spent with you..We spent together..A Sweet Lil World of our own...the first drive in the first Navy-blue van,the Weekends where we sit and enjoy with laughter echoed,the Songs that reminds me of your memories...the way you enjoy listening to them...More sweet memories treasured are always close to my heart Appa..

I can never forget the day when you'd ask us to find out the jumbled words,teaching me maths,correcting us in the most positive way when we go wrong,those fun-filled Diwali with our bloodline at Chrompet.

Remember those pranks you play on others!!!The day when you gave Anna a biiiig aruvazh,Me with a knife,Thambi with a spoon, and you holding a huge Rod to stand guard at Amma's False Hair...as she said "Take care of it"....Hahahaha...Days of nostalgia:):) your sense of humour beats everything else Appa and U are Uniquely Unique..

You are more than a Good book Appa,your ideals are somethin' what makes us complete today.The limitless love that you've showered on us has been our strength & driving path inspiring us to endure your legacy....We Will Appa.But sometimes its really hard without you on this beautiful World Appa...Where Have you gone??Where can i find you??when i call out for so many questions...

I know the answers pretty much Appa,Our enthusiasms and happiness in every second of our life reminds us that "You are with us...not so far, Arm-In-Arm as you 've always been... Closely embracing us...Governing all our destinies ".Not even a few feet away...but with in us....in those lil' surprises from my buddies and beloveds,those praying hands,the pleasant feeling of having an olive branch extended from the circle of our long time support ..well ..when they call me "Athipazham",though i miss the way you used to call me Appa,Anythin' smiley:) and when we make every souls around happy.

Everywhere, everything pretty around...in those soul stirring treat of Music,spell bound beauty of the Night's sky,those Snow-kissed flowers at Dawn,those instincts...the direction of somethin' tht illuminates us, blessings from your well-wishers,your sweet memories that mom and everybody talks of,together laughter,In-Depth concern of my classy sis' ,buddies n bros'...My Dearest duo-Kuttima Akka & Puppy Akka..and when Mammu points out my eyes and say "Bharathi Thatha inga irukaanga",tears tht drip down through my cheeks missing u...well on top of all..In Amma's smile,Anna's love n Thambi's crazy quips & in our kutty kutty intimacies..

Though days with you were short,your memories are bound-less and sort of something which gives me only the warmest thoughts Appa...its not how long we live,but how well we live...Thanks for being the World's Most Greatest DAD & of course The Perfect n Lovable HUSBAND that No Woman can Dream of to my Mom...You're the most Loved and Loving Couple in the world Appa..

My cho chweet sis shammi akka always quotes that "The most powerful bliss on Earth is the trust on ur mind power " which prompts me that you are here to open all good things for us...though not physically...you are with me till my last breath...and then...Yuppy!! i ll also join in to your beautiful world Appa to soar endless skies walking around with you,listening to your jokes and words..ohh Appa..I'm yearning to hear your manly tones Appa..Waiting for the D-day!!! Miss u moooooore than i love u Appa:):)

An Angel on Earth.

2009-03-01T19:25:00.031+05:30

It's a truly beautiful world we live in!!! its Hemu Kutty ...my Mum who jus frames it absolutely stunning givin' a Poetic shot...All those assertive qualities of mine are solely inherited by this sweeet heart.She s the perfect idol of a Mother,an epitome of Grace n Innocence,the symbol of Divine Love n Serene,Inspiring n Down-to-Earth,Honesty & Sincerity,Patience & Courage,Jovial & Easy-going,Considerate n Benign,the Best HomeMaker and the most Beautiful women under the sun are all the epithets that'd purely describe her..

The greatest happiness of life is to be convinced that u r loved...n my mom completely rocks my world with unconditional love n meticulous care,Mom is someone with whom i can dare to be myself n she knows the best 4 me...if patience makes a woman beautiful in every stages of her life,then my mom is d universe beauty without a pageant award cos she does it even in those lil' inch of hers....i mean its hard to be patient n at the same time maintain a level of honesty...cos i myself crushed by guilt sometimes, where i failed to say no when i wanted to....Even when she contradicts,she'd carry tht sweet smile & explain her side without mincing matters..well,then i learnt to be honestly sweet...

She has always been a flexible person who stands up for her values n convictions with the right spirit.Mom never lets us bring down our cultural values...Amma jus' excels over the moon when it comes to hospitality...from fruit vendors to our beloveds,she'd neva let go 'em without makin' their tummy full....n their hearts too...HmmmN her yumm yumm food...U know!!when words fail to describe the taste,u simply 've to try it!!!C'mon head home soon..:):)

Amma s firmly optimistic where she has taught me to look beyond life's flip side...well.. she'd rather call it the other nicer side where you can learn stuffs from...Besides 'em,the most notable caliber is tht,she is a person of being didactic through actions than words..Every sign of hers 'd index you with an awe experience...

Well...its an arduous task to amplify her finest qualities..I'd relate her to the most impressive word in Tamil which is "மௌனம்"..This is somethin' to be felt ,to be believed...

Needless to say,God has been extremely kind to me...Me all the way blessed with heaps of eternal good goodies in a Sweet single package called "AMMA"(Magic word ahann!!!)shez ma lucky charm."Amma..whats heaven and all its wonders ???? they' re incomparable to ur flawless smile Amma..keep tht on,cos its whr DAD stays in:)"

"All that I am or ever hope to be,
I owe to my angel Mother..."

But still couldn’t figure out those hidden wings ;)